A Quiet Divorce

Matthew 1:18-24:

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.” When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

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There is no such thing as a “quiet divorce”.  All of us know the ramifications of divorce to Families, societies, and the world.  While some divorces seem to be done “quietly”, the feelings felt by those affected by it are never “quiet” in their hearts. God hates divorce (see 19:4-6 for one of many examples). While the Mosaic Law allows for divorce in the case of adultery, the actual process is still ripe with all kinds of feelings.  In Jesus’ day, divorce could even accelerate to a “violent” thing if it was found that someone betrothed or married to another had committed adultery.  By accepting God’s Call to be the Mother of God (Jesus), the Virgin Mary accepted that she could actually be stoned to death for it given her betrothal to St. Joseph (and per the Mosaic Law).  The “quiet” divorce that St. Joseph was considering for he and St. Mary wouldn’t have been “quiet” – beyond the feelings involved, it would have been obvious to all that the Virgin Mary was roughly six months pregnant – especially in a small village like Nazareth.  Like St. Mary and St. Joseph, we, too, have to Trust in God’s Plans for us – even when the currents of life are challenging us in ways that feel like we’re going to break under the pressure.  By “letting go and letting God”, we enter a new depth in our Faiths that brings about a peace and joy in all areas of life – even in the face of a divorce.  So, if we ever find ourselves facing a divorce (or on the other side of one), we must remember what God says about it and us and try to do our best to Trust in Him – through Prayers, counseling, and with the love and support of Family and Friends.  While it sounds easy enough to do, it is not – anyone who’s been through a divorce (or considered one) will tell you.  But doing life for God is what we’re Called to do and He will never give us more than we can handle even when we feel like the weight of the Cross is too much to bare.  So, let’s do our best to run to Him in all things in life – including divorce – for He will heal our hearts if we simply allow Him to.